What Happens When You Stop Explaining Yourself

I’ve got a mouth on me, for better or worse. (Usually worse, if you ask my family.)

Here’s the thing: like most homosapiens, I’ve always had this desperate need to be seen and understood. I hate even admitting this. But have you noticed that the harder you try to explain yourself, the dumber and smaller you actually feel? Like, the more words I throw at people, the less they actually get me — and then I end up staring at my ceiling at 1 am replaying the entire scenario with imaginary comebacks. Yeah… that will show em!

At some point, it clicked. This strategy was like a withered wagon on it’s last wheel. The louder I tried to prove myself — defend my choices, get approval, justify my whole existence, the less progress I made. Just me pissed off and talking in circles.

Denzel Washington once said“You don’t have to explain yourself to those who will never understand your journey.” SO SIMPLE. SO TRUE. LOVE YOU DENZEL.

AND… this isn’t about toxic positivity line: “just stop caring what people think.” Please. We will always care. I care. You care. Anyone who says they don’t is a big fat liar.

The real magic isn’t in not caring — it’s in being so unshakably certain about your own story that other people’s confusion or judgment just doesn’t faze you. You start to keep things to yourself because you know what is best for you. Not your mom, not Kendra from work, not ChatGPT.

Can you hear it? It’s a whisper. A quiet confidence. The kind that comes when you make decisions and keep your promises to the one person who actually matters in the end: YOU.